Third Cohort, Session 4 · Introduction

Theme of this session: Cognitive restructuring and course orientation, emotion management, brain science and awareness

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Key Quotes at a Glance

Course Positioning

• "3680 is a system reinstall for the brain—a process of cognitive restructuring."
• "Break down the old before building the new, updating and refining what was previously in your mind."
• "Practice in everyday life; a person is the sum of all their social relationships."

Emotion Management

• "Emotions cannot be controlled; they can only be channeled."
• "Emotions are couriers, delivering packages that reveal your inner needs."
• "Awareness is the beginning of change."

Brain Science

• "The instinctive brain is 360 million years old, the emotional brain 200 million years old, and the rational brain 2.5 million years old."
• "You only realize things after the fact because the rational brain is just 1 year old, while the emotional brain is 50 years old."
• "Training awareness means training the brain's prefrontal cortex."

Reframing

• "Affliction is enlightenment; your troubles are opportunities for transformation."
• "The only constant in this world is change itself."
• "Reversal is the movement of the Tao: see the other side of things."

Self-Confidence

• "Self-confidence is built on feedback."
• "Start with small goals and aim for a 20% breakthrough."
• "I am valuable, and I am worthy."

Projection

• "The person you see in me is not who I am; the person I see in you reflects who I am."
• "When you idolize a celebrity, you are pursuing the person you long to become."
• "The outside world is a mirror that reflects your own qualities."

Boundaries

• "Changing yourself is divine; trying to change others is madness."
• "Be gentle but firm when setting boundaries."
• "Whoever suffers must change; whoever changes benefits."

Core Models Quick Reference

Emotional Iceberg Model

行为（看得见5%）
    ↓
情绪（快递员）
    ↓
需求（内在渴望）
    ↓
自我（核心）

Triune Brain Theory

本能脑：3.6亿年（生存、本能）
情绪脑：2亿年（情绪、感受）
理性脑：250万年（逻辑、觉察）

反应顺序：本能→情绪→理性（后知后觉）

Reframing Model

事件 → 负面解读 → 痛苦
  ↓
转念 → 看到另一面 → 成长

Projection Model

你眼中的别人 = 你自己

黄金投射：欣赏别人 = 渴望成为
阴影投射：讨厌别人 = 不敢承认自己有

Confidence-Building Model

小目标 → 行动 → 反馈 → 自信 → 更大目标

Key Action Checklist

Do This Now

• ☐ Notice today's emotions and see the packages the courier has delivered
• ☐ Practice awareness: observe yourself from a third-person perspective
• ☐ Set a small goal (20% difficulty)
• ☐ Say "no" to someone once to practice setting boundaries
• ☐ When you notice your own greed or emotions, do not judge—just notice

Short-term goals

• ☐ Keep a daily emotion journal to record your emotions and needs
• ☐ Practice reframing and see the other side of things
• ☐ Establish 3 positive feedback loops
• ☐ Recognize projection: when someone evaluates you, see it as their projection
• ☐ Set 3 clear boundaries

Long-term goals

• ☐ Develop a stable sense of self-worth
• ☐ Develop an automatic capacity for awareness
• ☐ Reach the state of "returning to infancy"
• ☐ Develop an integrated personality (androgyny)
• ☐ Achieve unity of knowledge and action

Recommended reading list

Study Recommendations

Step 1: Emotional awareness (1 week)

• Understand that emotions cannot be controlled; they can only be worked through
• Practice seeing the needs behind emotions
• Start keeping an emotion journal

Step 2: Understanding the brain (2 weeks)

• Understand the triune brain theory
• Understand why you only realize things afterward
• Begin practicing awareness

Step 3: Reframing practice (3-4 weeks)

• Practice seeing another side of things
• Turn worries into opportunities for growth
• Develop positive thinking habits

Step Four: Build Confidence (1–3 months)

• Start with small goals
• Create a positive feedback loop
• Practice saying, “I’m worth a lot, and I deserve it”

Step Five: Set Boundaries (ongoing)

• Recognize your boundaries
• Express yourself gently but firmly
• Changing yourself is powerful

Important Reminder

1. Emotions can’t be controlled: The more you suppress them, the more they rebound; they can only be released
2. It’s normal to realize things only after the fact: The rational brain is only 1 year old and needs training
3. Seeing is changing: Awareness is both the first and the last step
4. Reframing your thoughts isn’t avoidance: It means seeing another side of things
5. Projection isn’t blame: It means seeing yourself in a mirror
6. Boundaries aren’t coldness: They mean being gentle but firm
7. Changing yourself is powerful: Don’t try to change other people

Knowledge Graph

📺 Topics: cognitive restructuring, emotional management, brain science, reframing, confidence, projection

Module One: Cognitive Restructuring and Course Positioning

The essence of the 3680 course

• Reinstalling the brain’s operating system
  • First, dismantle: break down existing beliefs (the four major traps, The Book of Lord Shang)
  • Then, establish: build new beliefs (the ways of Heaven and humanity; the Dao moves by reversing)
  • Practice: apply it in everyday life (relationships, career, personal growth)

Learning Path

听课 → 混乱期 → 独立思考 → 实践验证 → 内化
  ↓
反复听
  ↓
思维导图
  ↓
答疑碰撞
  ↓
社群交流

Module Two: Emotional Management

The nature of emotions

• Emotions = couriers
• Purpose:
  • They deliver a package (information)
  • They remind you that you have inner needs
  • Need to be seen
  • Not out to get you
• The value of negative emotions:
  • Anger → Defend your boundaries
  • Fear → Stay safe
  • Sadness → Need care
  • Anxiety → Need to prepare

The emotional iceberg

• Above the surface (5%): Behavior
• ↓
• Below the surface (95%):
  • Emotions
  • Demand
  • Looking forward
  • Beliefs
  • Self

Handle appropriately

❌ 错误：控制、压抑、否定
    ↓
结果：火山爆发、生病

✅ 正确：看见、接纳、疏通
    ↓
结果：情绪走了，需求被满足

Module Three: Neuroscience and Awareness

Triune Brain Theory

• Instinctive brain: 360 million years
  • Survival instincts
  • Fight or flight
  • Fastest response
• Emotional brain: 200 million years
  • Emotional experiences
  • Memory storage
  • Intermediate response
• Rational brain: 2.5 million years
  • Logical thinking
  • Awareness and judgment
  • Slowest response (age 1 vs age 50)

Why awareness comes after the fact

遇到事情：
    ↓
本能脑先反应（保护自己）
    ↓
情绪脑跟上（产生情绪）
    ↓
理性脑最后（才上线）
    ↓
结果：事后才发现不该发火

Train your awareness

• Method:
  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Observe your breathing
  • Third-person perspective
  • Deliberate practice
• Goal:
  • Bring the rational brain online faster
  • Be aware in the moment (recognize emotions as they arise)
  • Rather than remaining unaware

Module Four: The Art of Reframing

Afflictions Are Enlightenment

• Affliction → Shift your perspective → Enlightenment (wisdom)
• How it works:
  • Affliction is a signal
  • It reminds you that you're stuck
  • Shift your perspective and see the other side
  • Grow
• Examples:
  • Divorce → Freedom
  • Unemployment → New opportunities
  • Illness → An opportunity to rest
  • Failure → An opportunity to learn

Reversal is the movement of the Dao

• When things reach an extreme, they transform into their opposites:
  • Extreme bitterness → Sweetness
  • Extreme weakness → Strength
  • Bad things → Good things
  • And vice versa
• Application:
  • See both sides of things
  • Don't become attached to just one side
  • Dynamic balance

The only constant in the world is change

• The source of certainty:
  • Not external stability
  • But inner stability
  • A strong inner core
  • Remain unshaken
• Build your own sense of certainty:
  • Ability to earn a living
  • Ability to see the essence of things
  • Ability to build and maintain relationships
  • Ability to adapt to change

Module 5: Building Confidence

Sources of confidence

• Confidence = Feedback + Accumulation
• Path:
• Small goal → Action → Feedback → Confidence → Bigger goal
• ↑ ↓
  • Positive feedback loop ────────────────┘

Method

1. Set small goals

• 20% difficulty, easy to complete

1. Act immediately

• Don’t overthink it—just get started

1. Gain feedback

• Positive: Keep going
• Negative: Adjust

1. Build on your successes

• Confidence builds gradually

1. Expand the goal

• Progress step by step

Core beliefs

• I’m valuable, and I deserve it
  • My existence has value
  • A unique life
  • An ever-unfolding mystery
  • Not a problem that needs solving

Module Six: Projection and Mirrors

Projection theory

• The people you see = yourself
• Positive projection:
  • Admiring others
  • That’s who you aspire to be
  • When you idolize a celebrity, you’re really idolizing yourself
• Shadow projection:
  • Disliking others
  • That’s the part of yourself you don’t dare to acknowledge
  • Attacking others is attacking yourself

The mirror principle

• The outside world is a mirror:
  • Seeing greed in others → You have greed too
  • Seeing laziness in others → You have laziness too
  • Seeing excellence in others → You can be excellent too
  • Use the mirror to see yourself
• Key phrase:
• "The person you see in me is not me,
• the person I see in you is not you,
• the person I see in you is who I am."

How to Handle Other People’s Opinions

• When someone says you’re pitiful:
  • That’s their projection.
  • They see their own suffering in you.
  • It’s not your problem.
  • Response: Thanks for your concern.
• When someone says you’re overconfident:
  • Maybe they’re afraid of losing control.
  • Maybe they’re conceited.
  • Gather more information before judging.

Module 7: Boundaries and Non-Greed

Set Boundaries

• The doormat problem:
  • Not daring to say no
  • Afraid of losing relationships
  • An inner sense of unworthiness
  • Being trampled on by others
• The solution:
  • Be gentle yet firm
  • "Sorry, I’m expensive."
  • State your boundaries clearly
  • Don’t be afraid of losing relationships

Non-Greed

• Recognize your own greed:
  • Greed is human nature
  • Recognizing it brings change
  • Move toward being less greedy
  • Work on your own lessons
• The consequences of greed:
  • Wanting it all
  • Leaving no room for others
  • Ending up isolated

Changing yourself is powerful

• Core principle:
  • Whoever is suffering is the one who should change
  • Whoever changes benefits
  • Change yourself to influence others
  • Don't force others to change
• Method:
  • Put it into practice yourself first
  • Influence works subtly over time
  • Don't expect the other person to change immediately

Core principle

• Rebuilding your understanding: dismantle the old before building the new; practice in everyday life
• Emotional management: emotions are messengers; recognize the needs behind them
• Neuroscience: delayed awareness is normal; train your awareness
• Reframing: affliction itself is enlightenment; reversal is the movement of the Dao
• Confidence: build on feedback and start with small goals
• Projection: the others you see reflect yourself
• Boundaries: be gentle yet firm; changing yourself is godlike
• Awareness is the beginning of change · I am valuable and worthy · An ever-unfolding mystery