Fourth Cohort, Session 2 · Introduction

Theme of this session: Actors and emotional release, the art of parenting, the roots of poverty and having a broad outlook

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Key Quotes at a Glance

Actors and venting

• "Looking glamorous in public while struggling in private—that's the price of success."
• "Finish the task before talking about venting; if it's not done, hold it in."
• "Exercise and reading are the best ways to release stress."

Parenting

• "When parents set an example, children naturally imitate."
• "Hire a coach—don't teach yourself."
• "Early education ages 0-3, language ages 3-6, logic ages 6-12, leadership ages 12-18."

Scarcity mindset

• "Always wanting to know what the other person is doing is a scarcity mindset—seeking validation."
• "When giving a gift, don't ask whether they like it—be generous."
• "A scarcity mindset means being petty and inexperienced."

Partnership

• "Without a team you can't earn this money—learn to be grateful."
• "Only when you have alternatives can you talk about a bigger cut—otherwise keep quiet."
• "Partnership means building a team—1+1>2."

Entrepreneurship

• "Platform effect—your performance is based on the platform."
• "Going independent means taking on 100% of the risk."
• "Try it first—don't both quit at the same time."

Investing

• "Invest 20% in yourself every year."
• "No investment beats investing in yourself."
• "If you don't spend money proactively, you'll be harvested passively."

Presence

• "Go second—let the other side make the first move."
• "The presence seesaw—balance is key."
• "Flatter or suppress, then reassure."

Core Models Quick Reference

Parenting stage model

0-3岁：幼教（无意识）
3-6岁：语言发育黄金期
6-12岁：逻辑、文体
12-18岁：领导力、技术

Scarcity mindset model

穷根 = 刷存在感 = 小气
    ↓
送礼物问反馈 = 格局低
    ↓
大气 = 不问 = 不在乎

Partnership distribution model

没有团队 → 赚不到钱 → 感恩
    ↓
有替代品 → 可以谈分配
    ↓
没有替代品 → 闭嘴干活

Presence balance model

对方出手 → 你回应
    ↓
对方飘了 → 打压
    ↓
对方低了 → 抬举
    ↓
达到平衡

Key Action Checklist

Do This Now

• ☐ Assess whether you have poverty-rooted behaviors
• ☐ Practice giving gifts without asking for feedback
• ☐ Treat others without emphasizing the price
• ☐ Let the other party make the first move in negotiations
• ☐ Observe differences in presence and practice maintaining balance

Short-term goals

• ☐ Invest 20% in yourself every year
• ☐ Hire a coach rather than teaching your child yourself
• ☐ Break out of your circle and attend industry networking events
• ☐ Develop a partnership mindset
• ☐ Practice controlling your presence

Long-term goals

• ☐ Break free from poverty-rooted habits and develop a magnanimous mindset
• ☐ Establish a stable cash flow
• ☐ Become highly skilled at controlling your presence
• ☐ Master the art of balance
• ☐ Achieve financial freedom

Recommended reading list

Study Recommendations

Step 1: Recognize poverty-rooted habits (1 week)

• Become aware of your poverty-rooted behaviors
• Practice magnanimous behavior
• Give gifts without asking for feedback

Step 2: Parenting philosophy (2 weeks)

• Set an example rather than lecture
• Hire a coach
• Plan for your child’s development from ages 0–18

Step 3: Invest in yourself (1–3 months)

• Invest 20% in yourself every year
• Break out of your circle
• Personally step into the arena

Step Four: Presence Control (3-6 months)

• Practice being reactive
• Master the seesaw
• Flattery and suppression

Important Reminder

1. Fix the roots of poverty mindset: Seeking attention is a poverty root — be generous
2. Lead by example in parenting: Don't try to change your children; succeed yourself
3. Gratitude with partners: Without a team, you wouldn't earn this money
4. Startup risk: Platform effect — going independent is high risk
5. Invest in yourself: Invest 20% in yourself; spend proactively
6. Balance of presence: Reactiveness, the seesaw, and balance are key
7. Parents' roles: The father adjusts the balance and brings love

Knowledge Graph

📺 Topics: acting, parenting, poverty roots, partnership, entrepreneurship, investing, presence

Module One: Actors and Emotional Release

Glamour in public, struggle behind the scenes

• The essence of being an actor:
  • Complete Tasks
  • Gain benefits
  • Elevate your class
  • The price is loneliness
• How to release emotions:
  • Finish the task first, then vent
  • Exercise
  • Reading
  • Psychological counseling
  • Hold it in until the task is done

Module Two: The Way of Parenting

Stage-by-stage development

• Ages 0-3: early childhood education
  • Unconscious state
  • A sense of security
  • Basic Needs
• Ages 3-6: Golden Period of Language
  • Language Development
  • Sense of Balance
  • Sensory Integration Training
• Ages 6-12: Logic Period
  • Logical Reasoning
  • Cultural and Sports Activities
  • One-to-Many Public Speaking
• Ages 12-18: Leadership
  • Leadership Training
  • Technical Learning
  • Talent Differentiation
  • Guidance from Renowned Mentors
• Ages 18+: Independence
  • Skill Consolidation
  • Entering Society
  • Independent Development

Core principles

• Parents as Role Models:
  • Children Imitate Their Parents
  • Don't Teach Children Directly
  • Hire a coach
  • Achieve Success Yourself
• The Father's Role:
  • Adjusting the Balance
  • Love, Not Authority
  • Give Children Confidence
  • No Hitting or Scolding

Module 3: Scarcity Mindset and Magnanimity

Manifestations of a Scarcity Mindset

• Seeking Attention:
  • Giving Gifts and Asking for Feedback
  • Treating Guests and Asking If They Enjoyed the Meal
  • Always wanting to know what the other person is doing
  • The return isn’t proportional to the investment
  • Stingy
• What generosity looks like:
  • Once it’s given, it’s given
  • Don’t ask for feedback
  • Don’t emphasize the price
  • Don’t care about getting anything in return
  • Think big

How to break out of a scarcity mindset

1. Give gifts

• Don’t ask if they received it
• Don’t ask if they like it
• Don’t ask if it works well
• Be more generous

1. Treat someone

• Don’t emphasize the price
• Don’t ask if I treated you well
• Have a cigarette and leave
• Don’t be petty

1. Mindset

• Treat 1,000 yuan like 100 yuan
• Don’t care about getting anything in return
• Don’t seek attention
• Think bigger

Module 4: Partnerships and Profit Sharing

Partnership mindset

• Problems with the employment model:
  • Don’t want to share profits
  • Feel like they’re sharing too much
  • Feel awkward asking
  • Stingy + lazy
• How the partnership model addresses this:
  • Without the team, you couldn’t earn this money
  • Learn to be grateful
  • 1+1>2
  • Aligning interests

Principles of distribution

• What to do if you think the split is too large:
  • Find alternatives
  • You can only negotiate if you have alternatives
  • If you have no alternatives, keep quiet
  • Don't complain
• What to do if you feel embarrassed:
  • This is a matter of rights
  • Find alternatives
  • Market behavior
  • Don't be petty

Module Five: Entrepreneurial Risks

Platform Effects

• Misconceptions:
  • The performance is your own
  • You can operate independently
  • You can replicate your success after leaving
  • Overestimating yourself
• The actual situation:
  • Performance is based on the platform
  • The customers belong to the platform
  • The supply chain belongs to the platform
  • The brand belongs to the platform
  • Going independent means taking on 100% of the risk

Entrepreneurship advice

• Don't leave the platform together with another person:
  • The risk is too high
  • Putting all your eggs in one basket
  • Try it out first
  • Have one person remain on the platform
• Try it out first:
  • Devote some of your time to a side business
  • Test the market
  • Build up a customer base
  • Then decide whether to go full-time

Module 6: Investing in Yourself

The 20% Rule

• Set aside 20% each year to invest in yourself:
  • Learn new skills
  • Invest in your network
  • Break out of your circle
  • Trial and error
  • Broaden your understanding
• Why:
  • Investing in yourself is the most worthwhile
  • Release risk
  • Increase your value
  • Break out of your circle
  • Avoid being taken advantage of

Ways to invest

1. Learning

• Take classes
• Buy books
• Learn skills
• Broaden your understanding

1. Connections

• Attend industry conferences
• Take a mentor out for a meal
• Break out of your circle
• Gather intelligence

1. Trial and error

• Experiment on a Small Budget
• Personally step into the arena
• See how you get fleeced
• Learn the playbook

Module 7: Balancing Presence

Second-Move Principle

• Let the other person make the first move:
  • Don't speak first
  • Observe the other person
  • Respond based on the other person's reaction
  • Keeping the initiative

Seesaw Principle

• Balancing Presence:
  • The other person is too dominant → bring them down a peg
  • The other person is too subdued → build them up
  • Reach a balance → get on the same page
  • Practice repeatedly
• Overpraise:
  • Praise the other person
  • The other party gets carried away → expose their weakness
  • Then put them down
  • Then reassure them
• Putting them down:
  • The other party shows off → put them down
  • The other party backs down → reassure them
  • Then elevate them
  • Achieve balance

Use Cases

• Negotiation:
  • The other party asks for a high price → put them down
  • The other party is modest → praise them
  • Reach a balance → close the deal
• Raising children:
  • The child gets carried away → put them down
  • The child feels inferior → encourage them
  • Balance → healthy development
• Family relationships:
  • When the husband becomes too strong → Rein it in
  • When the wife becomes too strong → Rein it in
  • Balance → A harmonious family prospers in everything

Core principle

• Actor: shine in public, struggle in private; vent only after completing the task
• Parenting: be a role model, hire coaches, plan for ages 0-18
• Root of poverty: seeking attention is the root of poverty; be magnanimous
• Partnership: have a grateful mindset; only negotiate when you have an alternative
• Entrepreneurship: platform effects, try first, bear the risk yourself
• Investment: invest 20% in yourself, break out of your circle, get hands-on
• Presence: playing second move, seesaw, the art of balance
• Magnanimity · Balance · Invest in yourself · Presence control