Separation of tasks means distinguishing between what concerns other people and what concerns you. Many conflicts arise because people interfere too much in one another’s affairs. Separate your own tasks from those of others: don’t interfere in their affairs, and don’t let them interfere in yours, and you’ll have fewer worries. Using task separation to handle relationships is a highly valuable psychological tool.
For example, a friend asks to borrow money. You don’t want to lend it, but you’re afraid it will damage your relationship. They say you’re refusing to help someone in dire need, but how they see you is their concern, not yours. We suffer when we worry about their concerns; whether to lend the money is your concern. What you need to consider is whether you want to help, whether you should help, and whether you’re worried they won’t pay you back. Just get clear about what is your concern.
Some people argue that separation of tasks has flaws. For example, if you want to correct your partner's mistake, whether they change is their business, but the outcome of that change is inseparable from your collaboration and development. Likewise, parents guiding their children to study, or managers improving their team's performance—these situations make it hard to keep the two separate, because the outcome of the other person's task directly affects your own task. Isn't that a bug? What to do about it? Who cares—use separation of tasks to separate separation of tasks itself. Whether separation of tasks has flaws is none of my business. If separation of tasks works, it relieves worries; if it doesn't, keep the status quo. If it works, a pleasant surprise; if not, no loss. In fact, separation of tasks can be used not only to relieve worries but also to calm inflated egos. When someone compliments you, you can also separate things: their praise is them thinking I'm impressive—that's their business—while whether I'm satisfied with my own performance is my business. Thinking about this often can help you avoid losing yourself or being secretly flattered into ruin.